I plan to research three different topics within the question of white lies told in early childhood. To summarize what I have so far : white lies are small, trivial lies that are usually told but do not have much impact. Parents tell their children these lies as they are growing up motivate and encourage their abilities, to prevent harm or dangerous situations, or to encourage magic and imagination. These lies are all normalized and they are seen as an important part of childhood, but I want to research the unknown and dangerous consequences of these lies and how they can encourage more lying in the future.
- Fictional Characters
They are plenty of imaginary, fictional characters that are explained in a child’s life to create imagination and dreams, like Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and more. These characters are meant to add joy and creating imaginary worlds for a kid. Parents use these characters when children are young to make core memories of happiness in their childhood. What people may not understand is that creating this source of joy is all good until it is taken away and children realize that it is not real. This feeling of betrayal and hurt can reflect on their trust towards their parents. These fictional characters can also reflect bad mindsets, such as you are only rewarded if you are “good” in the eyes of Santa Claus, when it is unrealistic for anybody to be “good” or “bad”. This is a key part of white lies in childhood, and understanding this section will answer my question with even more concrete evidence and important examples.
2. Preventing Harm
Parents are constantly telling their children little white lies to prevent them from hurting themselves or to improve their nutrition. You have probably heard the classic lines that parents tell to get their children to eat healthier, like “carrots will help you see in the dark”, “swallowing gum will stay in your stomach for years” and “the ice cream truck music means that they are sold out”. Other lies to prevent harm are to warn children about the dangers in the world, such as strangers, traffic and technology. These lies all have good benefits to protect children from harm, but when these dangers become real fears, they become a real problem for kids as they grow up. If they never learn that these things can be dangerous, but with proper use and instincts, these dangers do not have to be scary. Developing fears in childhood could last somebody’s whole life and have a impact on their mental health as they grow up. This part of white lies are important to answering my question, as there are so many dangers that parents warn their children about without even thinking how that danger can be perceived by the child.
3. Increasing Self-Confidence
Parents are always trying to motivate their kids whether it is complimenting their school work, their performance in sports or their intelligent questions. While a good balance of motivating your kids is very important to their self-confidence, parents need to understand how dangerous this can get. Humans develop their ego and their desire for attention and validation at a young age and getting this support from their parents is important. But there are a couple tricky situations, such as a child getting too much validation and craving that same confidence as they grow up, or a child not getting enough and thinking that they are not worthy, or even children getting too much and developing too much confidence. While one cannot regulate this problem completely, it is important to consider the impacts that simple comments can have on a child’s most fragile emotions.
My big question about white lies could have implications to those around us to start wondering what other things are normalized in early childhood, that can actually be very detrimental to an individual as they grow up. As we can see that the impact of lying can have good short-term benefits, but these long-term consequences can become a problem. Early childhood is such an important part of a child’s life, and we need to start acknowledging how we can improve this time in a person’s life, whether we are a good influence or we can teach them good habits, skills and values. Early childhood is often overlooked, but from experiments like this one, we can see how important things we say or do in a child’s first 10 years can have a lasting impact on their personality, behaviour and mental health. This question could have implications to others and communities as we plan on moving towards a educated society that understands the impacts of experiences and memories of a child. This could get people to start thinking what more they could do as family members, teachers, mentors or friends to children.
Some sources for my research that I can use are:
https://parentingtranslator.org/blog/is-it-okay-to-tell-your-child-white-lies
https://danieldashnawcouplestherapy.com/blog/white-lies-and-children
https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/santa-claus-a-fun-holiday-tradition
These sources talk about “white lies” and how they can be negatively impacting a child’s mental health, wellbeing and personality as they grow up. How normalized the concept of lying is, and how it can be harmful to children in their future.