Blog Post 3: Research Part 1

In this blog post, I will expand on some of the main themes in my story. This part specifically focuses on Andy’s parents’ parenting style and the effects on Andy, as well as how his “only child” status comes into play.

Andy’s parents primarily use the Authoritarian Parenting style, the most common North East Asian parenting style, mixed in with a bit of Authoritative Parenting, since his parents have also been slightly influenced by Western styles.

Authoritarian Parenting is one of the four main parenting styles. Authoritarian parents tend to focus on academic achievement and disregard soft skills such as problem-solving and communication.(1) Parents expect high achievements from their children; however, they rarely praise the children once those achievements are met. (2) They do not encourage displaying emotion. Parents set strict rules without necessarily giving their children a reason why, and have harsh punishments for disobeying rules, including food deprivation, lack of gifts, and corporal punishment. Children raised by authoritarian parents often have low self-esteem and anger issues. (3)

(Corporal punishment is a type of punishment intended to cause physical pain. It’s methods include spanking and whipping.)

Authoritative Parenting is the preferred parenting style. Authoritative parents are warm and nurturing while still maintaining high standards and firm limits. (4) Authoritative parents use timeout and natural consequences to combat rule-breaking and validates their child’s emotions. Authoritative parents are willing to listen to their children and help solve problems together. (5)

Like me, and most of my cousins and Chinese friends, Andy is an only child as he was born in China near the end of the reign of the one child policy, a Chinese policy created to combat the rapidly growing population. (Since he is fifteen as of the end of the story, I will work with the assumption that Andy was born in 2008 and is not much younger than me). Though he immigrated to Canada, and thus the policy does not apply, his parents have remained one-and-dones by choice. Andy does not care much about his only child status, but he does notice that very few of the people he knows are only children.

Only children and the first and last born, and thus are the parents’ only chance to parent. This often creates tension in the household, as everyone is trying to do their best. Only children are the sole recipient of their parents’ attention since they do not have siblings to split it with; the spotlight is always on them. Less children also means parents can invest more time, resources, and attention in their sole child’s academic and physical wellbeing. Though it wasn’t as common in Andy’s youth, now, more and more families all around the world are choosing to have only one child whether due to financial difficulties, lifestyle choices, because they do not want to go through postpartum depression and caring for an infant again, or simply because they don’t want to.

Without siblings to socialize with, only children have a higher probability of growing up antisocial(7). Combined with authoritarian parenting, which prioritizes grades above friends, Andy is quite socially awkward and can come off as weird or rude. Of course, this is not true for all only children raised by authoritarian parents, but for the sake of the story these affects apply to Andy.

So this is a rundown of Andy’s household life. In the next blog post, I will expand on his social life such as peer comparison and school drama.

Sources:

1. Authoritarian parenting: The pros and cons, according to a child psychologist. (n.d.). Parents. Retrieved November 23, 2023, from https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/style/authoritarian-parenting-the-pros-and-cons-according-to-a-child-psychologist/
2. What is authoritarian parenting? (n.d.). Verywell Mind. Retrieved November 23, 2023, from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-authoritarian-parenting-2794955
3. Authoritarian parenting effects on adults [how bad is it? ] – Fatherresource. (2022, July 6). https://fatherresource.org/authoritarian-parenting-effects-on-adults/
4. Li, P. (2016, December 3). Authoritative parenting: How to balance discipline and love. Parenting For Brain. https://www.parentingforbrain.com/authoritative-parenting/
5. Authoritative parenting: What is it, examples, effects, and more. (2022, April 24). Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/health/authoritative-parenting
6. Dalton, J., & Ansari, as told to S. (2023, September 20). More Canadian parents are choosing to have only one child. I’m one of them. Macleans.Ca. https://macleans.ca/society/raising-a-single-child/
7. The only-child family | psychology today canada. (n.d.). Retrieved November 23, 2023, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/family-dynamics/only-child-family