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Isabella’s Story Post #3

Hi there! This is my revised version of the story plot for my short story. I have provided some citations that inspired me to create this story and added a few finishing touches to the plot Hope you enjoy reading it!

Story Plot Line:

Exposition:   

  • Eve is a sixteen-year-old teenager, who has always loved socializing with her friends and hanging out with her family members.   
  • She is ambitious and curious and dreams about travelling around the world.  
  •  She lives in Manitoba, Canada with her mother in a comfy and small home.   
  • Her daily routine revolves around going to school, studying and talking to her classmates.   

Point of Attack:   

  • One evening, her mother sits her down and tells her that they are moving away to a small island known for their rocky landscapes (1).  
  • She hates this idea, as she has to leave behind her friends and family.   
  • She tries every way to convince her mother not to move, but it is no use.  
  • She tries to make the best out of the situation but can feel the heavy weight inside of her.   

Rising Action:   

  • Eve unwillingly settles in with her new life.   
  • One night, she hears a strange sound. It is a powerful and irresistible melody that captivates her (3). It creeps her out but also somehow calms her down. Eventually, she is pulled into a deep sleep. 
  • After this strange night, she is able to hear the melody during the night every day.  
  • She cannot ignore it anymore.  
  • She decides to explore where the mysterious sound is coming from.   
  • On a night where everything is quiet, Eve waits until her mother is asleep. She throws on a sweater, grabs a flashlight and steps out of the cabin and enters the cool night air.   
  • As she makes her way towards the sea, she can hear the melody getting louder, and she is drawn and lured to it almost unconsciously (4). 
  • When she touches the water with her hands, she is suddenly swept away by a sudden force and is knocked unconscious.   
  • When she wakes up again, she finds herself in a cage-like place which is damp and dimly lit. As she panics, she tries to escape but realizes that she is really trapped inside.   
  • Suddenly, she hears the same sweet song-like melody (2).  
  •  It echoes down into a dark and narrow passageway which leads deeper into the cave.   
  • She is not sure what she should do but decides to follow the sound and walks farther into the place.  
  • As Eve steps further and further, she can hear the melody becoming clearer and more intense. As she is walking, she begins to see a faint glimmer on the walls.   
  • She wonders where and what this place could be.  
  •  The passageway leads to an even bigger cavern.   
  • Eve sees a dark, blurry figure in the center. It appears to have bird-like features (2).    

Climax:   

  • The figure then speaks to her and gives her a choice. 
  • She can either return to the tiny village or she can stay and explore this unknown place. She hesitates, thinking of her mother and some of the new friends she has made.   
  • She knows that she should leave this place, but she also wants to go around to travel and explore. This mysterious figure seems to know her deepest desires in her life as she offers her something that Eve had long ago longed for (3).  
  •  The thought of going on an adventure excites her. She wants to experience something she has never felt before.   
  • After a few moments, she chooses to explore this unknown place. 

References that I have used: 

  1. Mermaid Myths & Legends. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.majesticwhaleencounters.com.au/mermaid-myths-legends 
  1. Crystal Rome and Debby Sneed. (2018). Sirens in Ancient Greece and the Near East, https://www.colorado.edu/classics/2018/06/19/sirens-ancient-greece-and-near-east 
  1. Sirens in Mythology: Powers, Legends, and Symbolism. (2024). Retrieved from Explore Sirens in Mythology: Origins, Powers, and Legends 
  1. John Richard Thornhill Pollard and A.W.H. Adkins. (2024). Siren I Definition, Legend, & History, https://kids.britannica.com/students/article/Siren/624604 

Thank you for reading!

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2 Comments

  1. Hi Isabella,

    This is such an interesting plot. I look forward to reading your story!

    However, there were a few points of the story I found unclear.

    “When she wakes up again, she finds herself in a cage-like place which is damp and dimly lit. As she panics, she tries to escape but realizes that she is really trapped inside.”
    From this line, I got the impression that Eve is trapped. Later on, you say that Eve is trapped in a cave. Maybe you could hint at Eve being in a cave in advance, to get rid of any confusion. You also mentioned that the cave is dimly lit, is it dimly lit by natural light or by people-made light sources, like torches?

    “It echoes down into a dark and narrow passageway which leads deeper into the cave.
    She is not sure what she should do but decides to follow the sound and walks farther into the place.”
    Since you had previously mentioned Eve being trapped, I was curious as to how she could walk deeper into the cave.

    I hope this helps add clarity to your story! 🙂

    -Maisie

  2. Hey Isabella,
    I enjoyed reading about how you’ve furthered your story! The premise is entertaining and enchanting.
    I question what sort of imagery or sound devices you plan on adding to the story to immerse the readers in the story? Descriptors of sights, sounds, taste, touch or smell help to make the world feel real and fleshed out. Eve interacts with this new setting and is discovering it along with the reader, using descriptive language will help readers to visualize and connect with the situation Eve finds herself in.
    Looking forward to reading more!
    Melea Chew Roberts

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