Research Round #3:How can we control our emotions?

In my last round of research, I talked about how emotions influence our behavior. Having very intense feelings is not always bad, it make us embrace life and express our natural reactions (1). So how do you know when there’s a problem?  If one has physical and emotional outbursts and maybe uses substances to regulate their emotions, then we know there’s a problem (1). As human beings we really can’t control our emotions like we do with a television using a remote control, but we can learn to manage them (1). We should aim to regulate them and not repress them to become healthy individuals with our mental health. We need to find a balance between overwhelming emotions to none at all (1). People who have higher emotional intelligence have been found to be better at handling changes and managing stress levels (2). There are some aspects of emotional intelligence that we need to understand in order to be masters of our own emotions (2).

1. Self-regulation which is the ability to manage our own disruptive emotions.
2. The ability to self motivate ourselves without needing external rewards.
3. Empathy- which is the ability of putting yourselves in other’s shoes and being considerate before responding.
4. .The last being our social skills as well as our self awareness.

Individuals can use their knowledge about their emotions to better manage them (2). For instance,  if one feels angry,  EI can help them regulate through self-analysis, helping them to respond in an appropriate manner.  There is a big difference between being mature and being emotionally mature (3). Age is rarely related to emotional maturity (3).  Emotionally mature person are able to control their emotions before they escalate(3).  But first we need to be able to identify what we feeling to be able to regulate it (3).  One of the ways we can regulate our emotions is to be very selective of our environment (4).  For example, if you don’t want to be angry , try avoiding angry people.  Therefore you will more likely be affected by individuals expressing calmer emotion. The degree of motivation we have about our emotional influences predicts just how much we can be influenced (4).  We should also be careful to not mirror emotions from social platforms like Twitter, Instagram following social and political events (4).

We are likely to amplify our own negative emotions when we see others online also feel the same, which will not helps to escalate our own emotions (4).  You could journal every time you feel sad or irritated and later ask yourself why (3).  It could have just been something silly that escalated to anger and then to a stronger emotion. Its okay to feel something but remind yourself you don’t have to act on it (3).  If you struggle with how you  react in stressful situations, look for a role model and  ask yourself what they would do (3). You don’t have to lose yourself, you just want to learn how they remain so calm (3).  If you always suffer from negative thoughts, keep a thought diary (3). Our worries can be valid but when we see that the same negative thoughts are consuming our days, we  realize they are not worth worrying about at all (3).  You could always a positive comment next to it and move on to come up with practical solutions that help (3).  This your life, instead of ignoring your struggles find a way to be at peace with them (3). Embrace your reality, but  if you can change it work towards it, if you can’t then smile and be happy at whoever you are (3). There’s no one who is perfect no matter how they appear to you. No matter how we feel , its always our emotions and we are the masters.

1. https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-control-your-emotions#regulate
2.  https://positivepsychology.com/importance-of-emotional-intelligence/
3.  .https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxCvJJv2vw8
4. . https://news.stanford.edu/2019/06/13/examining-peoples-emotions-influenced-others/