Blog post #3

Topic question: How does technology affect our relationship? I chose this question because I noticed we rely on technology a lot to support our relationships.  For example, we choose to call our friends instead of meeting them in person. I am curious to research the positive and negative sides of how technology affects our relationships with others. I also wanted to figure out to what extent of relying on technology was accepted as a source of communication in our relationships. I was inspired to research this question because of the short story Call Me. In this story, we see how the main character loses his relationship with his girlfriend because he relied too much on technology to support his relationship. I am excited to research this topic because we all use technology to support our relationships. I want to positively affect everyone so that they can have long-lasting and strong relationships!

Sub question: What makes a good relationship? This information will give me the rules and definition of a good relationship. In order to figure out the effect technology has on relationships; I need to figure out what guidelines a relationship follows. This will help me clearly see what shifts in a relationship when we use technology as our tool.

In a healthy relationship, there are usually healthy boundaries that meet the partner’s privacy and space. This boundary is created by considering both partners’ comfortable levels (1). For example, one may want to be alone when they are feeling so mad instead of sharing what they are feeling right away (1). Furthermore, communication about feelings is normal to share in a friendship (1). This will make the other person feel heard and loved (1). As a relationship strengthens, one will usually be able to trust the partner. This is a long process because trust is based on past experiences, current experiences, vulnerable and respect (1).

Good relationships do not mean that there will never be disagreements. However, good relationships differ from bad relationships because they face disagreement in a calm manner (2). They understand that the fight does not define their relationship (2). For example, one may want to spend time alone while the other wants to spend quality time (2). Healthy partners will usually decide to fulfil both desires. Most importantly, it is important to change as a better person in a relationship (3). The person must feel comfortable with change because people’s comfort level is unique (4).

Most importantly, great relationships are formed when two people both want a relationship (5). They both need to want to like each other enough to accommodate the other because we are all different (5). A relationship does not work if only one person tries in a relationship (5). For example, both people must be flexible to make sacrifices for one another. Additionally, there needs to be equality in a relationship. This includes no excessive sense of jealousy and sharing finances that work for both partners (6). Equality looks different for everyone, so both partners just need to feel valued equally as their partners (6).

There are also many tips to start a healthy relationship. Firstly, one can concentrate on the present of the relationship (7). The future of the relationship is unpredictable and can cause stress, so it is always important to focus on the present (7). Secondly, it is important to seek help like attending relationship counselling to cope with the difference of personalities and desires (7). Finally, it is important to start communicating about the little worries, dreams and expectations (7). This will help one feel ready to start communicating the bigger personal problems and build trust (7).

I will research the question: How do we use technology to communicate? This question will help me address my big question because communication is key to a strong relationship. As technology is a huge term, I want to focus on the communication part of technology. For example, Facetime, social media, texting, etc.

1. What does a healthy relationship look like? (n.d.). Retrieved April 19, 2023, from https://www.ny.gov/teen-dating-violence-awareness-and-prevention/what-does-healthy-relationship-look
2. 5 essentials for a healthy relationship. (2023, February 6). Health & Wellness Services. https://www.colorado.edu/health/healthy-relationships
3. 10 pillars of a strong relationship. (n.d.). Greater Good. Retrieved April 19, 2023, from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/10_pillars_of_a_strong_relationship
4. Relationship anxiety: Signs, causes, and management. (2020, April 1). https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/relationship-anxiety
5. Writer, L. M. H. S. (2017, April 11). Over nearly 80 years, Harvard study has been showing how to live a healthy and happy life. Harvard Gazette. https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/
6. Healthy relationships: 32 signs, tips, red flags, and more. (2019, December 13). Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-relationship
7. Different ways to cope with relationship anxiety. (n.d.). Verywell Mind. Retrieved April 19, 2023, from https://www.verywellmind.com/learning-how-to-cope-with-relationship-anxiety-5186885